Week 8- turning a corner?
Mood:  happy
Topic: Everyday

I am feeling remarkably optimistic today.  Compare that to Monday, where I felt pretty awful.  Life is so strange...

 This past weekend I went again to my parents' house because Walt was scheduled to work on Saturday.  So we drove out Friday (by way of the soft serve place... I'm doing pretty crappy with the diet and exercise thing) and we got a chance to have a nice dinner outside.  Mia has decided all of a sudden that she enjoys the bouncy seat, especially if said bouncy is placed outside where she can hear the birds and feel the wind in her hair.  She chilled in the bouncy and I. ate. my. dinner.  In peace!  Without shoveling!  She ate her dinner rather ravenously too- in fact, she chewed a hunk off my right nipple.  Or at least it felt that way.

Saturday morning started with me pumping a whole 5 oz. from my super special left boobie- the boobie that always has the most milk.  She's always there for me in a pinch.  I managed to do this, much to my surprise, while entertaining Mia, who now also enjoys lying on her back, kicking her legs, and gurgling.  After showering, my mom and I ran errands.  First to Target to buy every single bottled brand that they carried.  I bought Avent, Nuk, Playtex, and Dr. Brown's.    I also bought an ugly pair of green capris just because I knew they'd fit and I couldn't go on vacation to Maine with only two pairs of capris and a maternity bathing suit.

Speaking of bathing suits- oh horror of horrors- I tried on several at TJ Maxx.  I have never been so horrified in my life, and Mia was too- I could see the shocked look on her face in the mirror where my mom was bouncing her to keep her quiet.  She may need counseling some day.

Anyways, I did NOT buy any bathing suits, although I lucked upon a pair of navy capris hanging on the rack just outside the dressing room.  Perfect for Maine and perfect for back to work.  It hit me then that yes, I am going back to work, and no, I do not have enough clothes to make it through a work week.  I forsee a trip to Lane Bryant in my future (shudder).  I can feel big girls pain now.  There are no choices in plus size fashion!  I will kiss the ground the day I fit into size 14s, never mind my size 12s!

Sunday I got picked up early by Walter who had to get back for a ggolf tournament.  Some day, I swear it, I will stop resenting Walter for all the things he gets to do outside the house without a baby attached to him.  Such freedom!  Its hard for me to keep the jealousy inside at times and it manifests itself as annoyance with his whole golf obsession.  If I had time for my own equally fun hobby (how I miss salsa dancing and hard core working out!), I wouldn't begrudge him his golfing outings.  But being stuck inside with a baby who needs me constantly makes me a bit bitter at times, I guess.  Sorry honey.

By Monday, my boobs felt like ground beef from all the cheweing she had been doing, and I diagnosed Mia with a poor latch due to milk oversupply issues (like the other day when it squirted her all in the face during a feeding).  I called up the pediatrician's office, who squeezed me in with Lucy, the friendly lactation consultant for a visit.  She basically told me exactly what I already knew, then tried to help me give Mia a bottle, which sent Mia into a purple rage.  While waiting for Walter to pick me up from the appt. (he had gone home to pack his stuff because he got a partial tour of duty- to my annoyance), a car full of women congratulated me on my baby who they thought looked Chinese.  Mia may not look like me, but she sure doesn't look Chinese.

Yesterday Walter came home, and we bustled around the house like mad people getting ready for the trip and for Walter's sister to come over with her husband and two kids, Vernell and Joquan.  I went to the store for almost an hour and a half and she slept peacefully in the swing!  Hooray- the swing is a godsend.  In fact, yesterday Miss Mia seemed to get back to the Mia of old who likes to sleep a lot and is generally contented.  I love it!

Today I can honestly say that for the very first day yet, I completely enjoyed my baby.  I enjoyed every single moment with her.  That may make me seem a faulty mother to some people, but I think its pretty normal.  It was a good day.  Long naps, I popped her in the Bumbo and actually enjoyed my dinner, and she went down for me tonight at 8 like a dream.  Only way it could get better was if she'd start sleeping through the night.

Well, I'm hoping.

Here she is in her Bumbo.  And yes, that freaking thrush is back.

 

I love this girl!

Week 7- a tough one at times
Mood:  lucky
Topic: Everyday

This past week has been interesting.  Take week 4 and repeat.  Fussy, gassy, grump, but cuter and cuter every day!  I wonder if going through a growth spurt (something they apparently do weeks 3 and 6) makes one extremely irritable the following week.

This weekend my big brother flew in from Ohio for a visit.  He just graduated from law school, so is studying his ass off for the bar exam.  We consider ourselves lucky that he was able to come out, because that exam is nothing to mess around with.  He got to meet Mia for the first time, and he definitely had the Mia bounce down.  For some reason, Mia prefers bouncing, combined with a nice rock, to any motion.  I worry that her brains will jiggle right out of her head from all the bouncing we have been doing.  One thing that's not so pretty- a post partum tummy bouncing a baby.  As an old friend of mine used to say, "Slap a thigh, ride a wave," only in this case it might be classified more as a tsunami.  Anyways, it was so great to see Chris!

She had some sleep issues on Saturday. Well, basically she just would NOT take her afternoon nap, thank you very much.  We were on a visit to my grandmother's house at 2:30, which is usually the start of nap time.  We made the mistake of lingering a bit too long, and totally missed the entire napping window of opportunity.  Any parent knows that this is a recipe for disaster- an overtired baby= screaming, inconsolable, and completely pissed off baby.  After about 4 hours straight of crying and fussing, we finally got her settled around 9.  Sunday was a better day, because it was a quiet day.  I actually read for about two hours with her in the wrap attached to me.  Ah, peace.  Monday was iffy- about half and half.  It was a good day if for only the reason that I had Walter with me to help shoulder the load.

Yesterday however was the day from hell.  She slept great all morning, and then was wide awake for about 90% of the time from noon until almost 11 p.m.!  Everytime I would bounce her, rock her, take her for a ride, etc, she'd fall asleep for about 20 minutes, then wake right up again.  She didn't cry much during the day- just a little fussiness here and there, but when 8 p.m. rolled around- that was it!  She was going to fuss and complain all the way until 11 p.m.

I pretty much did EVERYTHING.  Rocking, swaying, swaddling (that was a mistake- she hates it with a passion!), bouncing, swinging, ssshhhing her in her ear, car rides (twice- omg, the gas!), nursing, mylicon drops, walking, etc.  Nothing worked, even though I tried each thing at least twice.  Finally, at the end of my rope, I put her down and nursed her once more, fully intending to just walk away for a few minutes and relax myself if she wouldn't fall asleep.

And of course she then fell asleep, the little bugger.

On a happy note, she is absolutely freaking adorable- talking up a storm and smiling these huge toothless grins that show off her dimple in her left cheek.  I am happy to have her, even if occasionally I have hell nights that make me almost despair and leave her in the room to be miserable by herself.

I marked her 7 week birth anniversary by going to the gym, which threw her for a loop and she simply would not take her bottle with Walter.  I don't know what will happen with that.  She'll probably bankrupt us because I will buy every bottle there is just to get her to take one.

Ahhhh... motherhood.  At least I now get to style her hair.  Check it out!

 

A quick note...
Mood:  a-ok
All baby stuff will still be written here, but for all other misc. life stuff and most importantly, the GET MY BODY BACK 12 week challenge starting tomorrow, go to my old blog here.

Week 6- and doing great!
Mood:  lucky
Topic: Everyday

She's been a very good girl this week. Smiling and talking, gooing and gahing and its almost disgusting how cute she can be. So cute that I really can't recall most of what I did this week... hmmm...

Well, this weekend was Walter's first Father's Day with Mia. In the morning he golfed with DeShaun.. well, DeShaun drove the golf cart while Walt golfed. In fact, DeShaun was so proud of the fact that he could simultaneously drive and eat chips- only one chip fell. I was suitably impressed. After their excursion, walter came back and watched Mia- mostly by plopping her in the Bjorn and walking her around, while I shopped for his gifts- a gift card, a new black fitted hat, and two BPA free water bottles from Mia to her Dad- bottles for her bottle-giver, get it?

Speaking of the Bjorn- we borrowd one from Kara and one from Owen. Two so that one could be adjusted to fit me, and one for Walter. They are so freaking wonderful! The faster you walk with her in them, the happier she is. Kind of along the same lines as when we take her for a drive- the bumpier the road, the quicker she falls sleep.

Here's Sarah with the Bjorn:

I also ordered a GypsyMama stetch wrap, which I absolutely love. Not only is it in a great stretchy (but not TOO stretchy) fabric, its in a really pretty blueish purple print. Mia loves being in the wrap and its fairly easy to put on... here's Sarah with the wrap on:

This week Mia has decided to up the cuteness ante by smiling and babbling during most of her waking moments.  Diaper changes are so much more pleasant now with her smiling up at me.  Her favorite sounds to smile at are: "la la la," "Grammy," and "poopy."  I smile at poopy too.  Another thing that gets alot of smiles is, "Are you hungry?" My favorite moments are when she is done with her morning poop routine (pursed lips, crossed eyes, furrowed brow, and a combo of grunts and coughs), she then is free to nurse and smile and babble to me.  Until you become a mom, you don't know how sweet it is to look down on your baby nursing or drinking a bottle and seeing her grin back up at you in between sucks.  It actually brings tears to my eyes often.

Monday she had her follow-up appointment to get her hip looked at.  Everything is normal and we had a very entertaining visit, with her peeing on the doctor and screaming.  Once I had her wrapped again, we were good to go.  Wednesday I had MY 6 week vsit, where I was pronounced recovered.  My stitches have almost dissolved, and I had my annual pap smear (joy), got my prescription for the mini-pill, so I'm good to go for a year, at which point I'll return to discuss getting ready for the next child (yikes!).

After my visit, we had a nice visit with Walter's grandparents Carl and Beth.  Beth made Mia an absolutely stunning quilt- all hand embroidered.  So gorgeous!  I will take a picture and post it separately once I figure out the best light to capture its beauty.  Mia had her first lunch out- on the patio at Panera, where we figured we could walk her if need be.  There was no need; she behaved beautifully, and we had a lovely visit.  Hope we see them again soon!

 Don't let her face here fool you- she was charmed by Beth :)  As she charms us all...

Ooh!  I almost forgot- she took 2 oz. from a bottle this week!  Thank god.  She won't starve when I go back to work!

Week 5, and I might be getting it...
Mood:  celebratory

Interesting week... After the debacle of the last few days of last week, she's been a different kid ever since.  On Saturday I discovered the wonders of the wrap.  My friend Jaime bought me the Ultimate Baby Wrap, which I had registered for.  I had tried it a few weeks ago and Mia liked it- sort of.  I popped that sucker on again while Walter was golfing, and walked kind of aimlessly around the yard.  Mia was out like a light in maybe 5 minutes!  So of course, I packed it to go to my parents' house.

We drove to Mom and Dad's, by way of the ice cream shop- at which point my breasts started leaking everywhere.  I had milk and jimmies stuck to my shirt, which made me feel ever so attractive.   We had a great dinner of steak tips, mashed potatoes, and green beans, and took turns bouncing Mia, who was a little fussbudget.  Despite the fact that it was at least 95 degrees, and very muggy, I strapped her in the sling again, and walked her up and down the street and in circles in the yard.  She was very relaxed, but not relaxed enough to take pity on her poor mother and sleep.  I took her out of the wrap, brought her upstairs, and just laid down with her and let her nurse.  To my surprise, she nursed for maybe 5 minutes, closed her eyes, and fell asleep peacefully.  So did I, and it was only 8:30.  Next thing I knew, it was 2:00 and she was waking up to be fed again!  I just rolled over, gave her the other side, and we did that all night.  I think she just needed some Mommy snuggles.

Sunday Walter went to work, so my mom and I hung around and ran errands.  We went to Kohl's where I bought a pair of size 18 capri pants- something that absolutely shocked me.  Can I really still be this big?  And when will that go away?  It was like a bad dream- a nightmare... Even the stretchy XL workout pants were too small.  Mia cried in the store, so Mom held her while I tortured myself in the dressing room.  After Kohl's we hit TJ Maxx, which used to be my favorite store.  I found some workout stuff there, including some jumbo sports bras, and one pair of fairly decent looking capris.  They may be the only thing I wear for the next month.  Mia cried there too, so we called it a day and headed home, where I took a nap with Mia in the afternoon.  The night went fairly smoothly until 8:30 again, when I had to pop her in her carseat and take her on the bumpy roads near the house.  She likes the bumpy roads the very best, and the highway next.  She hates stop signs and stop lights, and big trucks that make loud noises.  She slept most of the time in the car, and woke up promptly when I brought her in the front door.  Go figure.  Eventually she fell asleep and had another good night.

One amazing thing that happened while we were there was that she smiled at me.  Not just because I ate too much cheese and she was gassy either- I was singing and talking to her, and she smiled!  I think I might have really and truly fell in love with her at that moment.  That was the moment where it hit me, "Okay, this is why people do this!"

Monday Walter came to get us around noon, and we packed up the car and headed to the Wrentham Outlets to pick DeShaun up some stuff for football.  He starts practices with thrice weekly lifting sessions starting June 20th.  So we found him some shorts and dri-fit shirts, and me a really nice pair of long low rise workout pants.  Worth every penny when you are tall like me!

We hit some nasty traffic coming back- a jack-knifed tractor trailer- so we made an unexpected stop at a rest station to feed and change Mia.  Imagine me, feeding Mia with my chest hanging out, while truckers roll by!  Then these two guys get out of a car with their teeny tiny wittle doggies to let them poop right near us.  One guy bends over and wiped the ass of the littlest dog with a baby wipe!  I found it so ironic and wanted to ask him if he preferred Pampers or Huggies wipes.  I like Huggies- they're less wet and thicker.  Better for handling the poopage.

We finally got home, and enjoyed another garlic chicken pizza with DeShaun, and exhaustedly, I climbed into bed with a fairly subdued Mia.

Yesterday was great...  I woke up refreshed, worked out (20 minutes on the Precor!), and made myself a healthy breakfast.   I got a haircut and my eyebrows done (by a sadistic waxer, the worst I have ever had) and Walter went and did a huge grocery shopping trip.  Then, at about 4:30, we had a local blackout.  It was about 95 degrees in the shade all day, and being inside with a sticky baby and a sticky mommy was pure misery.  I thought for sure I was going to die.  Plus, I was fearful for all my healthy groceries! 

I called my coworkers to see if they had power, because my landlady had heard that it was the whole Northeast that was out, and both of them were fine.  My friend Owen even offered for us to come over to spend the night, so I started packing.  At about 8, the power finally went back on, and I have never been so happy in my life.  She slept great last night... in fact, at about midnight I was lonely, so I pulled her in the bed with me and she snuggled down so cutely.

Things are getting better again!

Here is what she is supposed to be doing:

  Lies flexed, like in the womb; barely lifts head while on stomach; leg and arm movement consist of uncontrolled writhing and purposeless hand opening and closing; bears no weight on legs; holds hands tightly fisted; can't hold a rattle.  Makes demanding cries, grunting throaty sounds, fleeting smiles, sleep grins; discriminates parents' voices; sees best at 8-10 inches; has blurred vision; has erratic sleep and feeding schedule. Smiles involuntarily.

That's for month one, but for about 1-2 two weeks she's been doing all of the 2 month skills, which include:

Limbs relax and stretch partially; lifts head 45 degrees; head wobbly while held sitting; muscle twitches lessen; hands partially unfold; swipes aimlessly; holds rattle briefly.  Coos, squeals, and gurgles; smiles responsively; shows emotions, like delight or distress; quiets self with thumb; holds eye contact; studies faces and vaguely mimics facial gestures; tracks moving persons.

And, she even has some of these three month skills, those she can do I've highlighted in red:

Stretches limbs all the way out; holds head about 45 degrees; pushes down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface; supports upper body with arms when lying on stomach; hands open, makes swiping reaches but still misses more than hits; holds and shakes rattle longer; grabs clothing and hair of others; sucks fingers and fists; plays with hands.  Begins to babble, coo, squeal, and gurgle; smiles responsively; shows emotions; enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops. Begins to imitate some sounds, draws out vowel sounds, such as aaah and oooh; makes louder sounds; begins to laugh.

She also does something funny... when she is crying and hungry and I place her on the bed, as soon as I unbutton my bra, she stops and looks at me.  I guess she knows her food is coming! 

She sleeps about 2-3 hours in the morning (usually from 8-10:30 or so), then again from noon to 2-ish, and then again from 4-6 or 7.  She's a little fussy from 8-9:30, but either a shower, being rocked, being nursed, or going in the car will settle her down.  The less we do during the day, the quieter she is at night.  When she's not sleeping she is alert.  Very alert, and seems to want to play, so I talk to her alot, kiss her all over, and make faces and sing.  Sometimes we dance to her favorite songs.

Things are going very well indeed.

and yes... we are doing the Gentian Violet AGAIN.  More purple nipples.

 

Exhaustion hits- week 4
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Emotional? Not me!

This week has been a real trial at times.  Thus why the entry is two days late!

This week we gave Mia her gentian violet treatment for 4 nights straight, which true to the internet buzz, got rid of her thrush very quickly.  Yes it was messy, but we figured out that a few well placed towels and a smear of Lanolin ointment all over her beautiful face eliminated most of the staining.  Here she is with her cute purple mouth:

Other than the Gentian Violet tribulations, Mia has had a few fussy days ever since Walter went back to work on Wednesday.  I took her to work on Wednesday to say hi to everyone, and when I got home, she would not go down for a nap!  Finally around 3:30, she rested, and then only because I, in desperation, plopped her in her swing and went to the bathroom.  By the time I got out, she was knocked out, and stayed that way until 7, at which point I figured she'd better wake up or else she would not sleep for me all night.

She ate from 7 to 7:15, and passed out again,woke at ate again at 10 p.m., then slept until 1 a.m. Thursday morning... at which point she proceeded to wake up at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 a.m, to eat.  She's only eat for about 6-7 minutes and then she'd fall back asleep, but needless to say, her poor mother didn't sleep much at all. 

Walter came home yesterday morning, and she fussed literally all day.  These fusses were interspersed with very brief napping periods (less than an hour), and lots of whiny sounding cries... Walter says they are her tired cries, and I tend to agree.  We both did get short naps (at alternating times) during the day, but it just wasn't enough, because at 10:30 when I had had it up to "here" with the fussiness and the not sleeping, I called my mom sobbing. 

Thank goodness for moms and their logic!  She reminded me that it was just one day (although Walter had been telling me that all along), and that she would not be like that always. 

Walter came home from his drive around 11 p.m. with Mia and brought her in to lay right down in the co-sleeper, where she stayed sleeping until 4:30!  THen she ate and was so soundly sleeping that I changed her diaper and moved her back into the cosleeper without her even waking.  She did wake again aroun 6:30, and I brought her into the bed with me to eat, where we both fell asleep until almost 9.

Thank god.

Anyways, she's still a little fussy today, but Walter brought her for a car trip while I pumped and now she's sleeping soundly still in her car seat.

Speaking of pumping, I have now pumped 3-4 times, and all I seem to be able to produce is two ounces.  Usually 1.5 on one boob and 0.5 on the other.  Its so weird to see your nipple get sucked halfway into the pump and see milk squirting out of them.  Not sure I'll ever get used to the sight.

Well, so much for week 4... Here are a few highlights...

Mia had a visit from Auntie Jaime last weekend, during which she shitted all over her car seat.  Ah, the memories.

And Sunday we had a visit from Nancy, Michelle, and Rhea.  Mia loved all of them!

We tried a little tummy time.  She liked it okay.

One major thing we discovered this week is that she LOVES the shower.  My mom suggested this instead of the bath, which she abhors.  She loved being snuggled in the shower by her Daddy.  I promised Walter I wouldn't post the adorable picture of him holding her in the shower, but here she is being dried off by her voluptuous mother:

OK... time for a nap.

There's a fungus amungus- week 3
Mood:  energetic
Topic: Aches and Pains

Well, this is the third attempt at writing this blog entry...hopefully it works this time!

This past week has been VERY eventful!  Last Thursday through Sunday, Walter, Mia, and I drove to my mom's house for a nice long visit.  While we were there, Mia got to meet both her great-grandparents, see her aunties Jaime, Sarah, and Heather, her Uncle Petr, of course my parents, Jaime's mom, Walter's friend "Grope" and his wife and daughter, my neighbor, and my dog, who didn't know quite what to make of her.  It was so awesome to see my grandparents with their first great-grandbaby!  I know she is going to be very spoiled.

While we were there, Mia developed the symptoms of the cold both Walter and I had, plus we noticed that the white stuff on her tongue that we though was just leftover milk, was spreading!  To her lip and the inside of her cheek!

Freaky deeky.  Its called thrush, and its basically an oral yeast infection.

Anyways, after one panicked trip to the 24 hour CVS for saline spray for her nose, and two calls to the pediatrician, we are now squirting her full of saline and "painting" her tongue, cheek, and lips with this gross sticky sweet orange stuff called Nystatin, which as far as I can tell doesn't work for shit.  Mia spits it out, cries, then spits up.  Not much is actually staying in.

I want to switch remedies to this cool stuff called Gentian Violet, which is a natural remedy that just so happens to stain your nipples and the baby's mouth purple.  I think that sounds like a hoot!  Plus, you apply it only once per day and only for 3-4 days.  It works very quickly, which sounds good to me.  I am going to give this stupid Nystatin stuff its full week, then I am going to find me some nipple dye!

So although Mia got all out of whack with our visits, she recovered quickly, and despite the thrush and cold is pretty happy.  Although, we have discovered... between 9:30 and 10- this is her bitchy time.  Poor Walter paces and paces and finally each night, around 10:30 she nods off.  Then she usually sleeps until 3:30-4, then again until 6:30.  Its been fairly predictable this week.  I can deal with that.

Here's my honey with his little honey, doing their favorite afternoon activity:

She's so sweet!

Mia's second week
Mood:  lucky
Topic: Everyday
This week has been both a little easier and a little harder. On Friday I got a horrible cold that is still going on now, although I'm in the final throes of it. All weekend I was sniffling and hacking away, inches from Mia, trying really hard not to infect her. She must have her Dad's immune system with as much snot as I was producing.

Finally, I succumbed to the lure of Nyquil, and took some to get a good night sleep. Unfortunately that night turned into half of the next day as well. The next night, I took half the dose, which seemes to work much much better.

Other than that, besides various visitors, its been a quiet week. Mia had her second pediatrician appointment today, where she peed a river all over the scale. She hates the scale as much as her Mommy does! Anyways, here are her weights so far:

On her birthday 5/7/08: 8 pounds, 15 oz.
On Day 2, 5/9/08: 8 pounds, 5 oz.
On Day 4, 5/11/08: 8 pounds, 2 oz.
On Day 6, 5/13/08: 8 pounds, 11 oz.

Today, Day 14, 5/21/08: 9 pounds, 15 oz!!!! She also grew a quarter inch in height.

I knew she had chubbed up a bit, but I had no idea how much! They grow so fast...

Mia's first week
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Everyday

Well, things have quieted down enough so that I can actually sit down and write about what happened in Mia's first week of life.  For the sake of order (and we all know how much I like that), I think I'll have to list it out day by day.

Thursday, 5/8

This day was the only full day we spent in the hospital.  After waking up to an obnoxious smelling egg breakfast, and after a night full of infant tests and vital sign checks, we were running on pure adrenaline.  The morning was spent alternating between gazing at her in wonder and wondering what the hell to do next.  Mom came by around 11 after I had taken a shower, and I had Walter go home and get some much needed sleep, breakfast, and a good shower.  Mom held Mia while I took about an hour's worth of a nap, just in time for the influx of friends eager to catch a glimpse.  From there she went from arm to arm for a while, and Mom left about 3 for home.  That evening I had Walter go get pizza after he picked up DeShaun.  That pizza tasted like heaven!  You should have seen the "lunch" at the hospital- ham with a brown sticky sauce, some orange gluey stuff, and some white gluey stuff, which I can only assume was potato and squash. 

Mia had her first check-up with the pediatrician, a Doctor Demester (catchy name, huh?), who pronounced her perfect except for a right hip click, which she suggested that I get checked out at Shriners.  "Ironically, I work there," I told her.  She suggested that some time in the next few weeks we just get it looked at to rule out a hip dislocation.

I got my "bottom" checked out- why these medical professionals keep calling it your bottom, I don't know- and discovered that the discomfort I though was from hemmorhoids was actually just my tear repair.  Fun.  The whole bathroom sequence in the doctor's office is eclipsed by the bathroom scene post-partum.  First you pull down the super sexy mesh underwear, throw out the "carnage" (pad), squirt yourself with water (hopefully you remembered to make it warm and aren't just using the water left over from last time), pat yourself dry, apply new "carnage collector" and to that add either a burning foam product called epifoam, or stinky gauze pads dripped with Witch Hazel (aka Tucks pads).  Its a messy, smelly, gross process, but it is so relieving that you can't be too upset about it.

Anyways, that night Mia had her hearing test.  She passed of course, because her Momma has super sonic hearing.  Her father, on the other hand, hears well, as long as he's not in the bathroom.  THen you might as well take a number like at the deli.

Friday, 5/9

This day was easily the worst, because both Walter and I had gotten just about an hour or maybe two of sleep.  Mia seemed to hate sleeping on her back, and just wanted to be held, so hold her we did.  The whole morning we organized all of the crap we brought to the hospital, and the nurse brought in a 100 papers for us to fill out and sign.  We got her birth certificate typed out, and got the last of our teaching regarding breast feeding and infant care.  Luanne was actually our nurse that day, so she helped me get Mia all decked out in her going home outfit and strapped into her car seat.  Finally around 2, we checked out and drove right to Shriners for Mia's hip appointment with Dr. Drvaric.

After most of the hospital came out to see her, we brought her in the back to see Dr. D.  He performed a quick check of her hips, then an ultrasound, while explaining that hip clicks are usually a benign finding and that she was absolutely perfect the way she was.  Thank goodness!

I was exahusted when we finally got home after getting DeShaun, and starving.  I shoveled in some food and tried to take Mia upstairs to feed her.  She threw a hissy fit and would not eat the entire evening until 8 p.m.  Of course, I had my emotional breakdown at that point, where Mia and I were both wailing and Walter was trying his hardest to hug us both simultaneously.  Not my finest moment.

Finally she ate, but that night was so fussy that we  both barely slept.

Saturday, 5/10

I woke up this morning feeling much better.  It was sunny, it hurt less to walk and sit, and the world just seemed a better, safer place.  I can't even really remember most of what we did that day, but I do know we went to CVS to pick up my stool softener and jumbo carnage collectors, and popped by quickly to see Walter's mom and Uncle Joe.  Auntie Kathia came by, her neck loaded down with about 40 gold necklaces, but we managed to escape her clutches pretty quickly.  Mia played "possum" the whole time sleeping serenely through all the commotion.

That night she slept a little better, especially when I shoved her in a swing to buy me a coouple hours of peace.  Unfortunately I had her in just a onesie and no hat at the time, so when I woke up and noticed that, I felt like the shittiest mom on the planet.

Sunday, 5/10, my first Mother's Day!

This day was the best.  We all woke up very cheerful and ready for Mom, Dad, Sarah, and Petr to come visit. 

We gave Mia her first bath at home, and she really liked it, until her head got wet!

 

We went to our pediatrician's office for the first visit.  She had gone from 8 lbs, 15 oz. to 8 lbs, 2 oz., which the MD said was normal.  After the pediatrician's office, we popped by the grocery store to get supplies for the visit.

We got back just in time for the crew to come by.  The visit was so nice- my dad got a good long chance to snuggle with her, and so did everyone else.  Petr's parents, Jan and Jana, came by as well and gave us the very useful gift of diapers :)  (oh, Sarah gave me a great plant and Mom and Dad a lovely lounge chair for my deck).

After everyone left, we had Bertucci's pizza, and Mia had a great night's sleep for the first night.  My milk had come in!  Yeah!!!

Monday, 5/12

Neither Walter and I even remember what we did this day.  Isn't taht funny?  ll I know is that I dressed her up in this:

Tuesday, 5/13

This day, the big event was going to the lactation consultant.  Of course, it was almost a moot point by then, because my milk had come in and she was going to TOWN, but I wanted some extra guidance and pointers about positioning and how long to feed, etc.

They weighed her at first on one scale, which had her at 7 lbs, 11 oz.  I told them, "No that can't be right, she is eating a lot!"  They checked her again on three other scales, which all had her between 8 lbs, 11 oz and 8 lbs, 13 oz.  So she had gained between 9 and 11 oz in two days!  She was definitely doing well!

The lactation consultant advised us to let her sleep at night from now on as she was feeding very well, and to just relax and let her dictate the feeding scedule.  That's what we've been doing ever since, and its been great!

Wednesday, 5/14

The only game in town this day was a very brief visit to see Great Grandma.  All the old ladies in the apt. complex that saw her scolded us for taking her out.  Oh well.

Well, that was week one.  Week two is upon me already!

 

Delivery
Mood:  happy
Topic: Announcements

It all started on Tuesday.  I had my 40 week check-up with my OB, and instead of seeing the daughter in the father/daughter practice, I saw the father MD.  Trust me, there is a significance to this.  Anyways, much to my dismay after a week of lots of Braxton Hicks and random bouts of diarrhea, I had not progressed at all!  Still 1 cm and about 50% effaced.  I noticed that his internal exam was WAY rougher than his daughter's and I left the office pretty sore and very unhappy.  (little did I know that he probably stripped my membranes without me knowing!)

In fact, I almost cried on the way back to work.  It was getting so hard to go in every day and have everyone ask the same questions over and over: "Wow, you haven't had the baby yet?" and "Why haven't you had the baby yet?"  As if I had any control over it whatsoever.

Tuesday night Walter was actually home, and I came home feeling pretty down-hearted and like Mia was going to stay in there forever.  I said to Walter, "Tell her that she can come out now, please!"  She seemed to listen to him already.  Sometimes at night she'd be kicking me like crazy, and I'd tell him to talk to her, because the sound of his voice close  to my belly always made her relax.  So he bent over to my belly and said, "Okay little mama, Daddy's home from work so you can come out now!" 

That night I got into bed early and fell asleep quickly.  I was still feeling pretty sore from that vicious internal Dr. Singer had done.  At 12:24 a.m.  I woke suddenly to a contraction.  I just rolled over and thought that it was another "practice" contraction like the ones I had had all week.  7 minutes later it happened again!  I laid in bed tracking these contractions until about 2:30, when they were coming about 5 minutes apart.

I rolled over to Walter and said, "Honey, I think I'm in labor- for real!"  He said, "Okay," and got up and started getting my bags ready.  I had not packed everything because most of my clothes and things I was still wearing.  I had made him a list though, so he worked off the list while I lay and tracked the contractions.  I tried to get into the shower at first, but I had chills and felt so shaky that I thought I might pass out if I got in there alone.  Walter helped me get it the shower and helped me to drink some water.  I kept having to go to the bathroom and whilepeeing I heard this funky "plop" noise- my mucus plug had come out.  Mmmm, delicious.  Not!

After the bags were packed, we made a couple bagels and sat and ate them before calling the doctor.  I called my mom and let her know that my contractions were now about 3-4 minutes apart.  She and my dad decided to wait until after I had gone to the hospital and been checked out before heading out to us (they live an hour and a half away).  We called the doctor and I distinctly remember them asking all kinds of questions right when I was in the middle of a contraction, which by this point was challenging to talk through.  They told us to come on in, so at about 5:15 a.m., we got in the car with all of the paraphernalia, and headed to the hospital.  We walked slowly in- I had to stop every time I had a contraction to breathe, and they brought us up to the room across from the tub room that I had requested.  I got into a johnny and had to pee in a cup, then they laid me down on the bed and hooked my up to the fetal and uterine monitors.  After a few minutes, the nurse checked me to see if I was dilated and to my horror...

I was still 1 cm and only a little more thinned out! 

They had me stand and walk for an hour before checking me again, and I only thinned out just a little bit more, so to my dismay, they sent me home.  Before I left at about 7:30 a.m., the nurse offered me an Ambien to help me sleep through some of the contractions and to help me get my energy back up, since I had been up all night.  I took it, and by the time I was parked in my driveway I was completely out.  Walter had to walk me upstairs and help me into the bed!

Around 10 in the morning, I woke up feeling the contractions just as strong.  I sat on my physioball and talked to Walter, watched a little TV, and ate some toast with jam.  For some reason I was fixated on the fact that I needed to eat.  The contractions got stronger and stronger and closer together, and I was finally convinced that this had to be it.  I called my doctor's office and let them know that these things weren't going away.  They told me to come in to the office and get checked out at 1 p.m., so I laid in bed, sat on the ball, and breathed and tried to relax until the time came to get back in the car.  Once at the office, they tooko me right in and my regular OB checked me.  I had progressed to 4 cm!  She said, "Okay, this is it!  We are going to admit you!"

This part is a blur, but Walter walked me upstairs to the birthing center and they brought us into the room with the tub.  After answering a whole bunch of annoying questions (like "are you safe at home?  Does anyone hit you?"  What?  As if I'd let them!), and after Walter made all his calls and went to the car to get the stuff, I changed into my bathing suit top and climbed into the tub at about 2-2:30 p.m. 

Let me tell you- I could have stayed in that freaking tub for 4 years!  That felt so good!!!  I was so relaxed and the pain diminished to maybe a 3-4/10 from a 6/10.  I was able to chat and gently breathe through the contractions, while eating grape popsicles that my mom brought me and sipping water from my Nalgene.  Either Walter or my mom had to keep constrant pressure on the baby's heart rate monitor because it wasn't fitting tightly to my skin for some reason.  About 3:30, my OB came up and made me get out so they could check to see how much I had progressed.  When the water came down over my belly, it felt like a knife in my stomach!  The change in pressure from being underwater to out of water was drastic and very painful.  I did get out and laid on the bed for the first check.  I had progressed to 5-6 cm dilated already!

They refilled the tub for me and I got back in for about 45 minutes before the nurses noticed that Mia's heart rate was climbing into the 180s-190s.  They took my temperature to make sure that I didn't have a fever, but I was fine.  Unfortunately, the doctor came in and made me get out of my tub :(  Again, I prepared to get out, and this time it REALLY hurt as the water went down over my stomach.  I climbed into bed, still with my bathing suit top on, and they quickly inserted an IV for fluids, had me lay on my left side, and gave me an oxygen mask.  Mia's heart rate went right down and they all figured that the water was just too hot for me and she wasn't tolerating it any longer.

I got into the bed at about 5:30-6, and was then measured at 7-8 cm dilated.  For about a half hour, I was able to tolerate the contractions with breathing and just focusing on relaxing, but once I hit a full 8 cm dilated, I started feeling out of control.  My water broke in a trickle at first, then it kept coming out in little gushes every contraction.  Once when I was rolling over, I heard a pop sound and it all came out in an absolute flood! Even the nurse said, "Wow, that's a lot of amniotic fluid!" 

 After my water broke, things really picked up.  The contractions got more intense and it took all of my energy to deal with them.  I spent the next hour or so rocking back and forth, crying every so often, blowing out rapidly, praying for the end of it, basically.  I had this little mantra during the contractions that kind of helped.  Its funny, but it was "Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy."  Walter and my mom were actually saying it with me at times, which made me almost laugh, but not quite.  I did have a moment where I totally lost my shit and said, "Get this fucking baby out of me!"

I was scared and tired... very very tired by the time I finally hit 10 cm, but as soon as I got the go ahead to start pushing, I went into work mode.  I started off flat on my back with Walter and my mom holding a leg each.  I couldn't seem to coordinate my breath with the pushing at first.  I kept letting my breath out halfway through the push.  It felt very unnatural to be doing a Valsalva maneuver while pushing and I kept thinking that if I kept this up my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head!  However, like a dutiful patient, I did as I was told.  One horribly embarrassing moment was when I started pushing and pee came shooting out across the room like a Super Soaker!  My nurse had asked me if I had to go, but I honestly didn't know, so I told her I did not.  Well, I guess I did!

I moved from lying on my back to lying on my side for a few pushes.  That wasn't working out so well, and at that moment, the covering OB, Dr. Mills popped his head in to check how we were doing.  After a quick check, he suggested we try squatting with the squat bar to have gravity help out.  They attached this bar thing to the bed and I kind of stood straight up on the bed accidentally scaring the shit out of Walter and the nurses.  Walter said I jumped up there like I was Nadia Comaneci!   The bar and my position on it were like this:

(edited to add:  This is NOT me.  I don't care how much that pony tail looks like mine, do you actually think I would allow Walter or anyone to take a photo of me pushing?  Not a chance in hell!)

Getting up on that bar was an act of gymnastic excellence alright.  My mom and Walter had to hoist me up into position each time.  It hurt like hell for the first push, then the next two were a alittle easier.  I definitely felt her coming down better.  I also tried pushing with my feet up on that bar and my hands gripping these handles on the bed.  That worked really well too, because I could use the strength in my arms to help me pull myself up into a more curled position.   In between each series of pushes, I would collapse back, completely exhausted and wait it out until the next contraction.  My mom thought I looked like I was sleeping, but actually I was trying to relax and gear myself up for the next effort.  I had an odd pattern of contractions, where I would have three contractions in a row, and then I'd have a 5 minute break in between.  I needed those 5 minute breaks, let me tell you!  I was having a hrd time during the last 20 minutes or so before she crowned because I was so tired, hungry, and just emotionally spent.  I honestly thought several times that I might pass out.  It was a scary scary feeling. 

After an hour and 45 minutes of just pushing, Mia started to crown and the doctor came back in.  With a whole lot of Astroglide and some coaching from the doctor, I finished pushing her out at 10:36 p.m.  She came out as a compound presentation, which means that her hand came out alongside her face, making the crowning and pushing out phase a bit more challenging given the extra width of her.  Oftentimes this kind of presentation means you need an episiotomy or even a c-section, unless you have a super-wide pelvis, which apparently I do.  Yeah for me.  The doctor basically reached in and grabbed her hand to help her out. 

When the doctor took her out, I cannot tell you how much relief I felt to have her warm slippery body up on me!  I thought for sure that I'd cry, but I was just so happy, all I could do was smile down at my baby girl and thank god that she was okay.  When she came out, she pooped on the table as the doctor was suctioning her mouth, and then she pooped all over my stomach!  It was a huge massive amount of poop too.  Quite impressive.  They let her lay on my for a while, and then they took her away to clean her up, weigh her, measure her, and simultaneously clean me up.  I needed a small repair of the tear.  It was a 2nd degree tear, but only needed a couple stitches.  The doctor said that I wouldn't even have torn had the hand not been up by her face.  I remember to doctor saying, "I am going to give you some Novacaine- this may hurt a bit."  I did not even flinch, and when he stitched me up, he said, "Can I bottle up your pain control?"  While he stitched me up, I woofed down a granola bar because I was STARVING!  I had to delivery the placenta (so not a big deal) and the most painful of all- the doctor kind of dug his fingers all around and pressed on my stomach to "get out the blood clots."  When I asked him why he was doing what he was doing, he just said, "Better out than in."  I'm still confused about it, but whatever.

All the nurses then praised me and the doctor told me that I was made for labor.  I guess that's the nice way of saying I have "baby-making" hips :)

Here she is when I got my hands on her:

And here she is looking at her Daddy lovingly:

 

Everyone came into the room to look at her and check her out.  She went from my mom, to my dad, to her Auntie Crystal, to Auntie Jaime, to Auntie Sarah, to Uncle Petr, and then back to me and Walter.  The nurse took her and cleaned her up really well for us, and Auntie Jaime stayed and took pictures of her first bath and watched as I tried to breastfeed for the first time (Mia was great at it right away!)while Walter hit Denny's for a turkey club and a milkshake for me.  Finally, everyone had to leave (most people had to go to work the next day), I ate half of my club and all of my shake.  The nurse helped me into the shower, showed me where the peri bottle, pads, and super sexy mesh underwear were, and then Walter helped me back into bed. 

That night was punctuated with frequent baby and mommy vital signs checks, attempts at breastfeeding, and lots of loving glances at our daughter.  I can't really explain in words how painful and overwhelming natural childbirth is, but I can tell you this.  Its been almost a week now, and I'd do it again. 

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when I fill you in on the rest of the hospital stay and our first few days at home!